Silent Separation vs. Quiet Quitting

I had no intention of leaving my corporate career. It afforded me growth, opportunity, and most importantly security. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD before I was a teenager. I dropped out of high school by 15 to help my mom give my siblings what I desperately craved. STABILITY. In hindsight, work felt less overwhelming. By helping financially, I felt like less of a burden. I worked while obtaining my GED, attended college and found psychology and behavioral studies fascinating, leading me to obtain my B.A. in Psychology. I was determined and genuinely (even to this day) LOVE learning about human behavior and neuroprocessing. I wanted to know the root causes of my “issues” and find a way to hide my struggles and remain successful. Burnout is REAL, especially for those of us with additional triggers and stressors. I’ve spent most of my life wound so tightly, defensive, and insecure that I’m not sure how I sustained my sanity. Every accomplishment, promotion, and award felt like the validation I needed. However, the validation was always fleeting. I thought in order to be an inspiring leader, that I needed to be PERFECT. Who wants a flawed leader?!? Turns out, my “flaws” are my greatest assets. It took me almost 40 years to understand and appreciate my own value. ALMOST 40- I’m taking every opportunity to still say, “I’m in my 30’s”, the next 10 months and reserve my right to point it out!

Anxiety made me analytical. Caring “too” much made me intentional and invested. Intuition & empathy helped me form deeper and genuine connections. I find purpose and satisfaction in identifying and implementing positive change in myself, individuals, teams, peers, organizations, and family. My leadership/coaching style has always been different than most. Unorthodox and outside of the box leadership is an understatement. As an intuitive empath, I always found a connection with my direct reports that I couldn't articulate. I valued each of my employees as I would want to be valued. As individuals, with unique strengths and opportunities. I refused to ask my people to do things that I wouldn't do. Did that come easy? NO! It would have been far easier to shrug my shoulders and say, "Not my job." but that isn't ME. When things got tough, I was in the trenches with my staff. Unfortunately, things got tougher, Tougher, & TOUGHER. Leading a team is never easy, but it is rewarding! In the insurance industry, I found satisfaction in helping our insureds get back to pre-loss/injury and was motivated by influencing development and success in those around me. During the Covid pandemic, I somehow managed to successfully lead my team, influence positive trends (even increasing employee satisfaction), take care of two kids under 10, teach subjects (FAR outside my wheelhouse) like common core math & special education, run a household, and juggle about a dozen other roles/responsibilities. My mental and physical health deteriorated. I wasn't sleeping, barely eating, and beating myself up for not doing ENOUGH.

As my son went back to school, I anticipated the internal and external pressure I felt to subside. It didn't. In February of 2022, it came to my attention that my 9-year-old son (a non-verbal 3rd grader on the autism spectrum) had been being harassed, physically threatened, and subjected to abuse daily to and from school. The driver, bus aide, school and district knew this was going on and did nothing. I internally explained away my son's change in sleeping patterns, clinginess, and behavioral issues attributing these setbacks to returning to school post-remote learning. The Mama GUILT I felt and the trauma we both experienced was devastating.

The worst came in being unable to find a therapist to treat my son's PTSD. I made over 75 calls and got nowhere. I had to keep a spreadsheet to track who I had already tried, because most didn't even return my calls. It was beyond overwhelming. Every call I made, I was told the therapist had no capacity to see new clients, or they didn't work with non-verbal clients. I tried to do everything right and hit wall after wall. I was a mess. I sought out trauma therapy for my own PTSD diagnosis and my therapist encouraged me to deepen my mindfulness practices and empower my resilience through self-healing strategies. I dove in and obtained certifications in Neurolinguistics, Meditation, Yoga, furthered my Reiki knowledge by obtaining dual-Master Practitioner status, and so much more. I began to slowly feel BETTER, as did my son! I worked at reframing my negative thought loops and strengthening my mind, body, spirit connection. I went back to work feeling refreshed, renewed, and empowered. However, as I continued on in role, I realized my HEART and MIND were guiding me to share my journey and influence self-discovery, development, and teach techniques to cope with life's inevitable struggles.

I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunities I've had and proud of my corporate career. In the 13 years with my most recent employer, I earned 9 different roles, in multiple lines of business, influenced greater acceptance and awareness of neurodiversity, and led our Hispanic Leadership Network ERG at the Enterprise Level. My time in these roles gave me the ability to learn, lead, influence, and (I hope) make a lasting impact on those around me. To every amazing person that positively influenced my career and made it a pleasure to work at HIG almost 13 years, I thank you. Sending a "Goodbye" email, that fully expressed the authentic gratitude and personalized appreciation I had for so many colleagues, was incredibly triggering and overwhelming. I chose to collect my thoughts, pray, and find MY way to communicate this important decision. Many of us assume negative intent, or the worst, when something is outside our personal comfort zone. I assure you, there’s greater good in the world than bad, we are just being conditioned by fear and bombarded with the bad. With the rise in turnover and burnout, I encourage us all to be thoughtful, find creative ways to decompress, and live a life that brings joyful challenge and personal fulfillment! Life's too short to not LOVE who we are and what we do.

Our world is a mess. We aren't cultivating joy, safety, community, or balance. Between the pandemic, civil unrest, mass shootings, and rising prevalence of mental illness, it’s no surprise our society is deteriorating vs. regenerating. This is NOT the world ANY child or adult should be living in. This was my motivation for co-founding Celestial Oasis Energy Spa. Our first physical location is in Oak Brook, IL. We plan to educate clients of all ages about the importance of emotional intelligence, neuro-diverse strengths, and teach healthy strategies to decrease stress and proactively strengthen well-being.

Our company’s goal is to provide services and resources that empower and inspire growth, balance, resilience, and mindfulness in individuals, families, communities, and businesses. We offer a diverse set of wellness services for individuals and groups. Whether you're looking for Individual Healing, Engaging Wellness Pop-Up Events, or the Curation & Facilitation of Corporate/School Wellness Summits (and everything in-between), we've got you covered. Most of our services can be offered virtually as well! Stay well, be blessed, show gratitude, and most importantly, practice and model self-care!

An individual may not be able to change the world, but they CAN certainly change their own. Change starts WITHIN and our mission is to ensure that no one goes WITHOUT!

- Casey Adkins